By Susan Posluszny, MA, NCC

Endings are the clearing process which allows us to move on with new beginnings in our personal and work lives. Through the work of William Bridges, author of the well known classic, Transitions, we learn that the transition process begins with an ending.  For those who are unemployed (willingly or unwillingly), an awareness that the transition process has predictable stages, with the first one being an ending, can serve as an aid in dealing with and moving beyond the loss.

There are four different aspects of the natural ending experience.  They do not occur in any specific order.  They are as follows:

Disengagement - a separation from the familiar place in the social order (a pilgrimage, divorce, death, job loss, and illness are examples of disengagement).  These, and many lesser events, disengage us from the contexts in which we have known ourselves.  They break up the old system that served to reinforce our roles and to pattern our behavior.

Disidentification – in one way or another, most people who are in transition experience a sense of not being quite sure who they are anymore.  The person loses a sense of self-definition and tends to question…”Who Am I?”

Disenchantment – involves the discovery that in some sense one’s world is no longer real.  Separated from the old identity and the old situation or some aspect of it, a person floats in a state of limbo between the old world and the world that is yet to be experienced.  Disenchantments come in many forms: relations that proved unfaithful, leaders who are unethical, idols who are petty and dull, and when a trusted organization betrays your trust.  Moving forward involves recognizing that a shift in perspective may well be in order…that is the realization that your old reality was in your head, not outside of you.

» Read more: Career Transitions: It All Begins with an Ending