Dr. Carol Fleming, Personal Communication Coach

I once had a speech client who admitted that he was a social isolate. This was revealed at the same time that he confessed that he never got the job advancement (despite having a Ph.D. from a prestigious university), was never included socially and certainly never got a girl. He spent much time telling me how others ignored him (and probably plotted against him!).

What was finally revealed was that:

• He made absolutely no effort to talk to anybody himself.
• He lived in his own bubble of silence.
• He did not understand that this very behavior was a big ‘Go away’ to other people and that he would be perceived as rude.
• He did not know that it was in his power and in his best self-interest to create the possibility of relationship with others.

His first homework assignment: to offer a ‘hello’ to someone every day. You laugh. But you must start somewhere. He was to actually make eye-contact with someone on the elevator and offer some verbal greeting, just one human being acknowledging another. » Read more: Networking: Talk to people to be part of the team